t Double Yellow's Musings: Introducing the Soccer Pitch GRC
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Introducing the Soccer Pitch GRC

Continuing the Uniquely Singaporean tradition of handling neighbor troubles, someone wrote to the newspaper yesterday about noise from soccer courts....

This letter is also a typical case of Singapore’s national hobby – compraining. He is a witness to teenagers hanging around everywhere – “sheltered walkway, playground, void deck, badminton court, pavilion, event hall etc”. He has supposedly also seen these teenagers “vandalise the facilities, shout vulgarities, misbehave with their female friends”.

And did this letter writer attempt to talk (and I don’t mean yell) to these teenagers? No! He instead decides to write to the newspaper and tells the gahmen – “I’ve done my part. Now it’s your problem”.

And his solution? Have the soccer pitch relocated!!!!

Yeah, let’s relocate soccer pitches from around the island to one area. And so that this locality accurately reflects Singapore culture, let’s call it…. [drumroll] …. Soccer Pitch!! Hey, we have done it before – calling Marina Bay as er, Marina Bay and more recently, Budget Terminal as ahem, Budget Terminal. Let all the vandalizing, vulgarity shouting and misbehaving teenagers go to this area allowing their fellow countrymen (like the letter writer) to live in paradise.

During election time, Soccer Pitch can be magically transformed into Soccer Pitch GRC. The winner can be chosen through a competition, possibly one of the very few in coming GE – who can shout Hokkien expletives, spray paint, frolic with his girlfriend and bend the ball like David Beckham all at the same time. Interesting, no? :)

P.S: I think some people need to be dropped off deep in the Borneo jungles. But then, they might just find access to the internet and write to the newspapers from there - and comprain on the lack of toilet paper or cable television.


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