The Ongoing Biological War in Singapore
[Leader]: Dear comrades, I have some grave news. The enemy has intensified its attack on us. They are beginning to use gas and mercilessly kill all of us.
[Comrades]: How many casualties?
[Leader]: Hundreds of thousands!!
[Comrades]: How many deaths on their side?
The above conversation refers to the ongoing biological war in Singapore - the battle that we are waging against .... [drumroll] .... mosquitoes. The commander of the mosquitoes talks to his people. The conversation continues….
[Comrades]: But why are they killing all of us?
[Leader]: I am not sure. It’s a war against our whole community.
[Comrades]: But its only a handful of extrem(aedes)ists that are the cause of the problem. The majority of us are moderates.
[Leader]: Yes, of course. But they don’t seem to realize this.
[Comrades]: Can all we moderates send them a cluster petition?
[Leader]: Every time we form a cluster to file a petition, they come and gas us out. Then they reveal our secret clustering sites on something they call a website.
[Comrades]: What options do we have?
[Leader]: One way is to think of a way to contribute to their GDP.
[Thinker]: Well, we could suck blood from reluctant blood donors and give it to their blood bank.
[Leader]: It’s unlikely that they will accept this proposition because the extrem(aedes)ists could infiltrate our ranks.
[Thinker]: With the huge rise in the number of insecticide bottles being sold, aren’t we already contributing to their GDP with our lives?
[Leader]: What is biggest problem faced by our enemy? Maybe we can help them solve that and get a peace deal in the process.
[Spy]: Bus fare cheats.
[Leader]: Ah, any ideas on what we can do about them?
[Thinker]: Maybe we can get the extrem(aedes)ists to monitor buses and if any passenger cheats, they can give him the dengue!
[Leader]: Brilliant, they will save $9 million and hopefully we will not be gassed.