t Double Yellow's Musings: The Ongoing Biological War in Singapore
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Ongoing Biological War in Singapore

Overheard in a dark, moist and secluded place somewhere in Singapore....

[Leader]: Dear comrades, I have some grave news. The enemy has intensified its attack on us. They are beginning to use gas and mercilessly kill all of us.
[Comrades]: How many casualties?
[Leader]: Hundreds of thousands!!
[Comrades]: How many deaths on their side?
[Leader]: Ten

The above conversation refers to the ongoing biological war in Singapore - the battle that we are waging against .... [drumroll] .... mosquitoes. The commander of the mosquitoes talks to his people. The conversation continues….

[Comrades]: But why are they killing all of us?
[Leader]: I am not sure. It’s a war against our whole community.
[Comrades]: But its only a handful of extrem(aedes)ists that are the cause of the problem. The majority of us are moderates.
[Leader]: Yes, of course. But they don’t seem to realize this.
[Comrades]: Can all we moderates send them a cluster petition?
[Leader]: Every time we form a cluster to file a petition, they come and gas us out. Then they reveal our secret clustering sites on something they call a website.

[Comrades]: What options do we have?
[Leader]: One way is to think of a way to contribute to their GDP.
[Thinker]: Well, we could suck blood from reluctant blood donors and give it to their blood bank.
[Leader]: It’s unlikely that they will accept this proposition because the extrem(aedes)ists could infiltrate our ranks.
[Thinker]: With the huge rise in the number of insecticide bottles being sold, aren’t we already contributing to their GDP with our lives?
[Leader]: Hmmm....

[Leader]: What is biggest problem faced by our enemy? Maybe we can help them solve that and get a peace deal in the process.
[Spy]: Bus fare cheats.
[Leader]: Ah, any ideas on what we can do about them?
[Thinker]: Maybe we can get the extrem(aedes)ists to monitor buses and if any passenger cheats, they can give him the dengue!
[Leader]: Brilliant, they will save $9 million and hopefully we will not be gassed.


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