t Double Yellow's Musings: In Defence of the Singaporean Man
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Friday, September 16, 2005

In Defence of the Singaporean Man

The debate of whether why Singaporean women seemingly prefer angmoh men to locals will surely ever reach a consensus. I don’t mean to stir the hornets nest again but there were a couple of things which I heard/noticed that bring me to dispel certain myths about Singaporean men.

I don’t particularly want to get into discussing issues of anatomy, since people more well-versed in Hokkien than I am can articulate their fears views rather eloquently albeit in a crude manner :)

Myth 1: The Singaporean man does not know how to groom himself


This is so totally untrue. While the Singaporean man may not wear designer clothes all the time, he does know how to dress for the occasion. I passed by a local swimming pool recently. I expected to two-piece bikinis all over the place but I was instead greeted by not one, not two but many local men all sunbathing to get tanned! (see pic) I should say that none of them had an ounce of extra fat on them.

Myth 2: Singaporean men are not chivalrous

This again is totally false. Holding doors open for women may not be our forte but we have mastered the art of waiting outside a shoe shop why the love-of-our-life tries on the gazillion shoes she would love to have in her life. This pic was taken a Wisma Atria where the local men wait patiently. We could have gone to grab a beer or play video games but nope, here we are dutifully waiting.

All in all, I don’t think Singaporean men need to worry too much about our local women eloping with angmohs. We have our strengths and the angmohs have their weaknesses. Also, we rarely hear of angmoh women complaining about their men liking exotic Asian women. Is that because there are enough men to go around? I don’t know but I think that the Singaporean man will do well by expanding his horizons beyond the shores of Sentosa.

The Singaporean women may consider the above two points irrelevant and still prefer the angmoh for other reasons. But I’m not sure she knows what she is missing :p

54 Comments:

Blogger 7-8 said...

Yeh but the point is not whether the myth is true or not, but rather that it persists. What these chicks think, rightly or wrongly, still matters.

12:05 AM  
Blogger AG said...

aiyahhhhhhh... what's the big deal about comparing ang moh and asians.. If the local women like ang moh then the guys can't do anything about it wad. :P

IMHO you guys should go for the angmoh women to give the women a taste of their own medcine - because if you go for the Vietnamese, Thais, etc.. the women will just say you guys are MCPs. XD

*Shit, I'm a traitor to my sex*

1:19 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hey 7-8, mebbe we can ask the gahmen to start a publicity campaign hor... we say 100 times possibly no effect, gahmen say once and all the 'chicks' will be enlightened immediately :)

hahaha AG, long time no see... but i also say, Singaporean guys must go for angmoh women. Traitor to your own sex? Naah... we'll vouch for that :p

3:10 AM  
Blogger MercerMachine said...

Maybe people should stop worrying about who other people are dating (this being the 21st century and all).

-from your friendly neighborhood ang moh, who doesn't care if you date his sister whatever your skin color as long as you aren't an asshole.

3:39 AM  
Blogger siyang said...

All those jokers outside the shoe shop... hahaha.. looks like a crowd gathering outside a crime scene or a 4D shop hours before the draw...

I must agree with u about us being chivalrous.. I hold open doors and give up my seat :)

7:25 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha mercermachine, in some ways i agree with you. but you know Singaporeans, we revel in much overrated Asian values :) for a start, does your comment mean your sister is available? :))

hey siyang, when i those dudes in front of the shop, i thought there was a queue for something (as you know, queues are not uncommon around Wisma) but I understood the full picture only when I saw the Charles and Keith shop opposite :)

8:14 AM  
Blogger Hiao Auntie said...

i think those who like ang moh men are the minority... i personally don go for ang moh men coz i feel there will always be a cultural gap no matter how angmopai you have become

9:02 AM  
Blogger 7-8 said...

It just occurred to me that for an angmoh woman to go out with a Singaporean man, that would be a little like a Singaporean woman going out with a Viet / Thai man.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Edan Bernardino said...

7-8:

Explain that a little more?

1:03 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hiao auntie ah, i think so also :) just that i want to say that some of the reasons usually given for 'rejecting' local men may not be true lor

hey 7-8, i hope you are not suggesting that the angmoh getting together with a Singaporean is like 'marrying downwards'... maybe as Edan says, explain a bit more leh :)

3:59 PM  
Blogger akikonomu said...

Err actually half of the guys suntanning at public pools are batting for the other team leh.

6:05 PM  
Blogger AG said...

haha!!!

but actually quite true IN THEORY

See ar, if Asian women get it on with Angmoh men = marrying UP, then asian men must be one down from angmohs.

then within the Asian nations got class difference. like Singaporean men above Thais or whatnot. (OOPS. how politically incorrect)

So if Angmoh woman get together with Singaporean man, then is = Singaporean women marrying Thai/Viet man.




*Don't kill me!!! I'm not racist!! or countrist!!*

6:38 PM  
Blogger 7-8 said...

AG has explained it already, has she not?

Everybody's free to marry anybody, that I certainly agree. Whether they want to, or they are going to is another matter altogether. Women marry upwards, men marry downwards.

It's a human tendency and you can't legislate human tendencies. Human tendencies stay the same regardless of what century you're living in.

So if ppl are going to transcend racial boundaries (and not everybody wants to), they're probably be doing it in that direction.

Now to define "up" and "down" is the tricky part. Which country you're from won't determine it, but the average westerner who ends up in Singapore would have more of it than the average Singaporean guy. And similarly the average Singaporean guy will have more of it than the average foreign blue collared worker. Of course, on wealth alone, the poorest Western woman would be willing to marry the richest Viet / Thai, but that's the exception not the rule.

So this is not race, but rather social status, although even today they are somewhat related.

And it's not necessarily wealth: there's whether you're living an "interesting" life: whether he's got friends in high places, or whether his friends are like him, scrapping through and paying mortgages.

And whether you have social graces or not will also count, such as, you'd rather go for somebody slightly poorer but more able to behave.

But such things come only when you know the other guy better: non- superficial things do not give you erections. And moreover when ppl are making the big decisions in life other considerations are usually going to trump political correctness.

10:25 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahaha akikonomu, they are batting for the other team huh? next time i ask them to confirm :)

hey AG and 7-8, although one may not necessarily agree with the 'social mobility' theory, i must say that it is very persuasive :) I think a good place for Singaporean men to get a bang for their buck (pun unintended) is Brazil or Venezuela.

The Singapore $ is pretty good in those places and going by the stereotype of Brazil and Venezuela, there is an overflow of supermodels in those countries :p But will Singaporean men take the first step and be adventurous? :) thats the million $ question ... :p

11:23 PM  
Anonymous caffe said...

ahha i've seen those queues outside charles and keith... maybe one of these days there will be a 'bf-carpark': park ur boys here while u go shopping! coz it feels like tt to me...

as for the sunbathers... i must agree that majority bat for the same team.. ahemz.. i've seen one wearing a BRIGHT luminous brief and i can tell u.. it wasn't a pretty sight... =P

3:17 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha caffe, if there is a 'bf-carpark', then invariably we can expect an ERP gantry very soon and a front page news coverage on how this is a world's first :) bright luminous brief... hahaha ! thank God I didnt have to see that sight :p

6:23 AM  
Blogger avalon said...

I'm too Singaporean a woman to want a non-Singaporean man.

Ultimately, women need to talk, and if that means speaking in a non-native tongue, non-Singlish English too far away to grasp accurately, we probably can't get in that many words and will fall below our 40,000words/day quota - unhealthy sign in any relationship.

So, only a Singaporean hot-blooded male will do for our daily conversational feeding. Even non-Singaporean chinese men (for me, since I am Singaporean chinese) will not suffice.

Who wants to struggle over intimate conversations about the universe, and have to bitch in ang-moh-fied slangs or in Cantonese-peppered English?

It simply won't do. Give me a Singaporean man anytime.

8:09 AM  
Blogger 7-8 said...

Yeah, but in Brazil and Venezuela the women like their men with cojones, so while we like to have bangs for bucks, they on the other hand prefer to be banging real bucks, you know what I mean?

Still I distinctively mentioned that there was more than just $$$ involved... ?

9:24 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahaha elaine, bravo! bravo! *clap*clap* :)

hey 7-8, thou is right abt Brazil and Venezuela. And also about the $$ bit... its more than just money. I simplified what you said.

11:18 PM  
Anonymous bengz said...

Ayia, last time limbea also kinna hurt by cheebye local girls, KNN their eyes on their forehead, eyes stick stamps kind, think they high class can speak angmoh, tok to them also dulan. see limbea got lots of money than let me fuck, KNN!? not even shiok.

Now I go for China young mei mei, they are sweet, can tok cock and can get along fine, fuck liao still ask you good no good, where to improve next time. And never insult them by giving them money.

KNN, like that I rather let China mai mai cheat my money or my KumCheng then the local bitches.

3:54 AM  
Blogger avalon said...

I guess it can't be helped that there will be materialistic babes out there.

But I am not materialistic and so are many of my girlfriends, and I definitely so want a Singaporean man.

Bengz, point taken. So we must ask for feedback, and learn how to talk at the man's level.

6:18 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hey bengz, rather colorful comment that :) but yes, i do know that the materialistic streak in local women is a bugbear for the men.... and abt women from China being better in end, sorry ah, cannot comment...

hey elaine, like i said above, the fact that you are not materialistic is something that s'porean guys will lurve :) and abt asking feedback from the guys, I think the women shd also give feedback at the same time.... :)

6:44 AM  
Blogger shushiepoo said...

there is a term for that phenomenon of ang moh men besotted with asian women - it's called yellow fever.

5:40 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahahaha shushiepoo!!!! i wonder whether this form of yellow fever has any cure? :)

6:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dating China mei mei, well, its a well known fact these gals go for men with money regardless of age, or marital status... good luck to men who date them and think they are better of than dating local women. Who can forget the book The Crow openly telling the story of these women who come to singapore .

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi English woman married to Singaporean man, have I married downwards? Or as a lawyer who has married a doctor have I married upwards? Let me allow you guys in on a little Western secret Western men use gullible money seeking Singaporean girls for a quick and easy fuck - and if they do marry them it is because they are the outdated chauvanistic arseholes who want a doormat to tend to their every need (the ones previously thrown in the reject bin by the Western woman)this is why Western women aren't bothered about our men showing interest in these girls (we actually pity them) if Singaporean women haven't got any insight into this fact you should feel sorry for them as they will be the ultimate loosers.
I would marry any guy from any race of any status provided the key ingredient of love was in situ - strange non of you have mention that word isn't it, seems to me this whole forum is more to do with bruised ego's/paranoia than anything of any real substance.

3:42 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hey anon, an english woman marrying a Singaporean is NOT marrying downwards - thats precisely the point of 'in defence of the Singaporean man' :)

I'm not sure how many Singaporean women can be considered doormats in front of their angmoh husbands. Coz if you ask a Singaporean man, he will tell you that local women are far from being doormats :)

i'm also not sure how many angmoh men see Singaporean women as 'wham-bham-thanq-ma'am'. I guess there are a handful but i guess some others have altruistic reasons :)

aaah, the keyword 'love' was not brought up at all.... prob coz there is a misplaced perception that there is no love when an angmoh man marries a Singaporean woman. This may not be true and indeed something that the Singaporean man needs to think about :)

5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry I seem to have upset you.

1. I never said I had married down by marrying a Singaporean man it was a question hence the question mark (please re read)!

2.All Asian women are seen as subservient doormats (this is our steroetype of them I never said they actually where doormats did I) - the men who end up with yours are so many times rejected by us that they are grateful for anything at the end of the day.

3. A singaporean woman may not be a subservient doormat to you because perhaps she doesn't view you as a good enough catch to demean herself for be but we all know the lengths Singaporean women will go to to get themselves a rich man,especially a Western one and serving his every need is all part of that initial courtship manipulation.

A few probably do love each other rather than the relationship be based on some trade off - I can only speak as I have heard and in relation to the professional targeted circles I move in. I haven't heard a single respectful remark made by a Western man about an Asian women yet - they know what they are all about but they ignore it becasue they have their own agenda.

You seem to have taken my comments very personally, please don't it is merely based on observation over many years. I actually think Singaporean men have a great deal of fantastic personal qualities to offer which is why I married one!

Could have done without the Asian mother in law though!

Ultimately does it really matter that much who marries who as long as the relationship is a sincere one?

1:21 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahaha anon, no you have not upset me and nor do i take your comments personally. I thought those smilies at the end of each para conveyed my light-hearted take on the issue :)

in fact, i agree with everything you said. I am just being a "devil's advocate" :) its quite sad that asian women are seen as subservient by Western men. i do think the asian woman has more to offer than just behave as a doormat (i know this is a word i used *smile*). but like you said, most western men dont see it that way. It is indeed chavunistic.

Having said that, i do agree with you that there are quite a few gold-diggers (my term again *smile*) out there. And that is why i feel that the reasons that these women give to reject Singaporean men is not fully justified. And the Singaporean men will do better not to keep complaining that Singaporean women only like Western men.... they need to look beyond our shores like your wise husband if I may add :)

Coming to think of it, i will not like a subservient wife at all. But the mother-in-law, like you said, is a totally different matter *smile*

no, ultimatey it does not matter who marries who. I was just reacting to the typical Singaporean complaints - the men say that their women prefer the rich westerner. the women say that the men are not as outgoing as Western men :)

no offence meant or none taken *smile*

2:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,

Feel much better now knowing I haven't caused any offence!

Just thought a Western female view might be interesting - perhaps you should mail it on to a few Singaporean girls as food for thought (British men are definately not 'all that they are cracked up to be'and the ones away from home tend to be the naughtiest! ha ha!).

In the process of trying to save my brother in law form marrying Singaporean - she wouldn't even speak to him when he was a manager now he is a pilot she is all over the guy like a rash (sad eh!)

She is sooooooo sucking up to the mother in law quite a work in progress when objectively viewed - got to admire the girls focus.

See him heading for a life of high maintainence (shame).


And pleasssse the term Angmoh is so rude (say it amongst your mates but keep it gentlemanly when speaking to an actual angmoh or else I might need to retailiate and refer to you all as Chinkys) 'smile'.

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Michelle.

3:57 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

Hey michelle, you bet that I will be mailing your views to my friends *smile*

sucking up to the mother-in-law eh? if I were you, I would also help my brother-in-law from a person who only talks to me coz i am a pilot *smile*

one way i can think of is to get your brother-in-law to tell the gal that being a pilot is stressful and he will be quitting after a few months. He will need to find himself and will be going to the himalayas to 'find himself'. then wait and watch the fun unfold.... *smile*

and i assure you, no use of angmoh in front of one *smile*

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definately wouldn't work - the words 'missile' and 'heat seeking' come to mind when thinking about this chick.

How about we hatch a plot to kidnapp him and take him to the moon it would take her at least a couple of days to locate him there!

Or alternatively we could hold a wallet burning ritual in front of her and hopefully the resulting psychological trauma might lead to her being committed to a mental institution and off the scene for years! 'smile'.



Mic

3:04 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahaha michelle, you are really funny :)

maybe you could introduce a richer bloke to this gal? the fatter the wallet, the deeper the 'love' *smile*

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awwwh so cynical for one 'probably' so young!

5:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi

Read all of the above with great interest.
I concsiously made the desision not to marry a Singaporean woman after spending fifteen years training to be a surgeon in the UK.

English women where not remotely impressed by my Doctor status and I found that I could just be myself with them rather than feel that unlike the Singaporean women I had dated they always had dollar signs in front of their eyes.

I did eventually marry English - not just because of the above but because English women are not as they are stereotyped- they don't all sit about having their nails and hair done, they are generally highly educated, intelligent,decisive, good at whatever they choose to apply themselves to be it career or family life, they are independant and have no fear of mucking in whenever it is needed, they adjust with ease from arse kicking career chick by day to loving supportive wife/mother by night, they have all the requisite skills cooking, cleaning, childrearing down to a fine art, they are I have to say exceptional hostesses and mothers - this is because they still view family as the most important priority.(they never use their education/looks as a currency)
My wife was an engineer but has choosen to stay at home and commit herself to raising our family whilst the kids are young - I watch in awe as my children are developing with her input,the house is clean I walk into beautiful meals and my wife still looks a million dollars. She doesn't waste her time shopping she spends it all with the kids, and on top of all this she is studying for a doctorate from home (just to keep the old brain ticking over as she puts it until the children are older and she returns to work).
Singaporean girls on the other hand are far from all rounders, growing up pampered by parents and maids a college degree they think entitles them to a life of being treated like royalty, sulking if gifts are not regularly proferred, unable to manage even the most basic of domestic skills - let alone hold down a demanding job and run the home as well.

Are English women sounding like doormats - not at all I am expected to pull my weight and I soon know about it if I don't - no big drama just a note when I return home from work saying 'dinners in the dog, out with friends expect me when you see me' and I'm left to it on my own for a while just as a little taster of the juggling act she maintains daily!. That is usually enough to remind me what a good thing I've got and pull me into line not because I'm badgered into it but because spending time in her shoes re affirms to me why I have so much repsect for her. English women are team players and it's nice to feel part of a team - go find yourself one they are not as aloof as they would have you think!

3:32 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hey anon, what you've written is a great insight and I guess something that most Singaporean men can take consider. I do know a few English women myself and I do agree with you that the stereotype is incorrect. Its amazing that your wife is pursuing her doctrate and the team-playing that you mentioned I guess is the envy of many Singaporean households... *smile*

As for Singaporean women, you are probably right that they live a sheltered life. But I do know some (not all, some) of them who dont go after money or sulk if gifts are not regularly proferred and these girls do their household chores without the help of a maid. But they are in a minority and increasingly extinct, I agree.

But from what my friends tell me, the primary reason why they hesitate to marry English women is because of family, which is usually very traditional. Although this is something that is changing (and that change is of course for the good), many Singaporean men find themselves restricted to their choice of wife. Which leads me to wonder how did your and your wife's folks react when they knew both of you were going to get hitched.... *smile*

7:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My folks tried to ruin the wedding and refused to meet my wife until we had our first child. It was a total nightmare - my wife's family where cool and supportive throughout - anyway when you meet 'the one' you just know it and after a load of shit they finally 'accepted my wife' my mother found it especially hard because English folk don't automatically respect someone just because they are an elder or your Mother or Father they respect them because they behave in a manner that deserves respect which I shamefully admit my parents certainly didn't in the beginning -no way my wife was going to do the old Auntie Uncle thing English women have an art of rebuffing insults by saying extremely offensive remarks in return but sounding very polite and smileing sweetly when doing it so my parents never knew how to take her - Of course they would have preferred a Singaporean addition but I think they have just about got their heads around it now.

12:43 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Hey Anon & Doubleyellow (what does doubleyellow mean by the way?).

You guys sound like a walking advert for Western women which is very sweet of you. I do know there are some nice Singaporean girls out there and I personally think Asian woman are very beautiful.So come on big them up!

Anon I know exactly how your wife felt, I had to make a stand very early on against my parents in law or else letting them control the situation would I feel have set a precedent for the rest of our marriage.

At first I thought my husband was weak not standing up to them and I used to get very cross with him - in fact I almost called off the wedding but as time has gone on and I have learnt more about Asian families and the dynamics at play I have realised now what a massive thing it was for him to have gone against them at the risk of being disowned etc...

Can't say I like the mother in law I still think she sees me as a threat but I also think that she is a strong dominant woman who has met a strong dominant woman and sneakily respects me for the fact I won't take any shit - lets just say at family get togethers I have managed to cultivate the skill of making my inner screams looks like radiant smiles!
My parents where very supportive too, and I know many Singaporean/English partnerships which are still going strong. It is a challenge being with someone from a different culture but it can also be a great learning curve.
What about your kids anon do they cross over cultures easily?

Michelle

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Michelle

My kids are very convincing Singaporeans when in Singapore and very convincing Englishmen when in England.

How about your's if any.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Hi Anon

Same here.

Quite nice on the asthetics mixed kids too!

My daughter looks slightly Chinese, with mediteranean coloured skin and - wait for it - chestnut coloured wavy hair, it is a striking combination you would never guess where she was from!

Don't get too excited Doubleyellow if you read this 'smile' she also has chubby knees, a dimply bum and likes to bite everyone who passes by (on account of her being only 2yrs).

Of course I actively discourage biting unless it's the Mother in Law shes feasting on 'smile'.

Michelle

1:16 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha anon, glad that things worked out with the folks in the end, but not sure how many Singaporean men are like you who are willing to ruffle relations with their folks. One of the grouses that Singaporean women have with men here is that they tend to be a total 'mama's boy' - which somehow seems to explain the behaviour of the gal trying to court Michelle's brother-in-law *smile*

hey michelle, with those exotic looks at just two years, i suspect your daughter to make waves in the near future *smile*

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Oh my God 'mamas boys'that's it exactly,my brother in law is exactly that,and he's 34.And my husband wasn't much better at the begining but he finally managed to sever the umbilical about 5 years ago after a humungous struggle with his parents.Still calls her mummy though which I find quite revolting and little boyish behaviour! I have an 18 year old son also and if he called me Mummy i'd find it totally creepy like he's still hanging off my breasts urgh! Mum is fine.
Pilots mummy still cooks and irons for him (and probably still does breastfeed him) and he even told his girlfriend she needs to learn to cook like his mum 'What?' - if my husband said that to me he'd end up wearing the meal. Still if she's so desperate for his money to become a substitute mother rather than an equal companion that's up to her. Tell you what the hardest part of marrying into an Asian family is the drama (perhaps you are not all like this I can only speak from the exposure I have had thus far) - I have never known people shout at each other so much and wave their arms/stomp about over the slightest thing - god the first time I witnessed my mother in law do it I thought she was going to have a stroke.
She doesn't do it in front of me anymore because I don't join in so she has nothing to feed off last time she did it i calmly sat there and said ' Mrs Blogs I am very sorry if I have unwittingly said something to cause your outburst (this translates in English as an apology offered far to easily which means there is no sincerity in it it is said to humour and make her feel like she has control)(Also the 'Mrs' keeps it a formal relationship indicating to her that she is not particulary someone I like enough to move onto first name terms with) 'But until you feel able to discuss matters in a grown up and articulate way I do not feel there is any need for further exchange until you have calmed down'. (This translates as Yes I am being condescending because I think that you are a mental old witch who has got away with making every one dance to your tune for years with the threat of one of your tantrums kicking off! It also implies that I think she has no self control, social graces or intelligence, but it is said politely which leaves her feeling frustrated and confused as to why she now feels such a jerk). My poor husband sits in a corner cringing 'smile' but it has the desired effect she thinks twice now before targeting me. I suspect many Asian parents would back off under those circumstances but would then take it out on their children while the spouse was out of the way so a great deal of consideration does need to be given when marrying outside ones culture - failing that you could always sod off to live in the spouses country.
Saying that the younger generations are awesome they totally get my humour which is great cos I've played some wicked practical jokes on them and they love to go out and party. And for all the arguing is nice to know that my daughter is part of a big family who would be there if needed.The UK families tend to be small and don't involve all the Aunties/Uncles/cousins etc.... So I like many of the Asian values.
What about you double yellow do you think you meet the mummy's boy profile?

2:34 AM  
Anonymous Jason aka anon said...

I am embarassed to admit I once did meet the'mam boy' profile and the first time my wife (then girlfriend heard me call my mum mummy she nearly threw up).
I only do it when she's not about now because as she put it 'it's hard to find a man sexually atractive if he resembles a suckling infant' point taken!
Funny how things are interpreted differently elsewhere isn't it?
I think Double Yellow will agree with me when I say part of the problem for this overprotectiveness and dependancy encouragement is the fact that children in Singapore are seen as very precious so it is hard for Mum and Dad to let go of them.
On the flip side I know that the object of English parents is to encourage their children to be independant and get out there in the big wide world whilst at the same tme standing quietly on the sidelines ready with the safety net should it be needed.
I wonder if Singaporean mothers with Western husbands will be able to work this out - my wife suspects it is more difficult this way round because after a certain age 'men are to be Men' and an English man wouldn't tolerate this ongoing mother/son thing he would feel jealous.

3:54 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Hi Jason

Just looking at the times we are coming through and Double yellow is coming through - are you based outside Singapore?

I suspect you are in UK re time difference.

4:02 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha jason, i agree with you that the reason why many Singaporean men are mama's boys is because they tend to stay at home till they get married and in the process are pampered beyond imagination.

In my case, I have never been a mama's boy *smile* never called my mother "mummy". In fact, even I cringe if i hear a 20+ year old man calling his mother "mummy" *smile*. I do my own laundry and iron my clothes. The only problem is cooking - its not that I have not tried, but I can't cook for nuts. So I make up for this by washing the dishes after *smile* But I don't think I am fussy that I need food exactly like the way my mom makes it. I'm more than happy to make a trip to a hawker centre or food nearby and grab a bite.

haha michelle, your dealing with your mother-in-law is hilarious! probably what I would also do in your shoes. But keeping the Singaporean gal away from your mother-in-law is going to be quite a challenge *smile*

4:32 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Seriously Doubleyellow you sound like an English womans dream provided your not 85 years old and incontinent'smile' - Get yourself out there mate - not the ex pat circuit they tend to be the ones who are loaded/very career focused and not the ordinary down to earth folk most be people want to hang with. Most girls won't give a toss what you do for a living or what you earn as long as you are mannered, faithful, kind and funny!And contribute your bit re: helping at home.

10:31 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

hahaha michelle, you flatter me *smile*

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Michelle in London for 6 months doing fellowship how about you?
What kind of Dr is your husband?
What kind of Lawyer are you?
Just thinking can't be that many Singaporean Drs in the UK might know him!

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Nosey aren't you! 'smile'

Newcastle upon Tyne.

Moving to Singapore perm in July 2006.

Head and Neck Consultant.

Clinical negligence lawyer.(retiring July 2006) can't be arsed doing more bar exams to practice in Singapore. Might do some further study in a totally different area (wouldn't mind doing launguages or something what are the uni's like out there any good!)

You and family should come visit Newcastle whilst you are over in UK.

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Michelle

Do you know Andrea Leong he is big on the UK head and neck circuit if so I'll ask him to pass on my e mail details to you it would be nice to get together at soem point sounds like we are in similar situation.

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Mic said...

Sure do

Tell him e mail address is for Michelle and Gabriel (they went to med school together in Ireland)

Gab gets together with him regularly.

7:31 AM  
Blogger TyroneJackson3rd said...

Ok ok ok everyone!!! Consider Singaporean women... really! I recall the great philosopher WC Fields who said ""Singaporean Women are like Elephants: I like to look at them, but never would like to have one""

yah, Singaporean women are like elephants, nice to look at but cause BIG messes! Common guys, we would be happier with Philippine, Thai, Viet, Burmese and Malay GF or brides! But S’porean gals look so nice……….

6:47 AM  
Blogger Beau Lotus said...

hey started out to defend the S'porean man and ended up abusing the S'porean Girl, you know it's not a ''en dépit de'' situation where when one is positive the other becomes negative...I am a Singaporean girl married to a Frenchman and we have 3 beautiful children. Just for that I would have married a European guy. But I love Singaporean men too, my beloved brother's one and 2 of my best friends are S'porean guys and they are just wonderful! Intelligent, patient, kind and helpful. Love their parents and not at all macho. Having said that, what kind of a S'porean girl am I? I do not come from a rich family, I am not pampered, just loved, I had 2 scholarships from 2 governments, 2 postgrad degrees, could speak English, Chinese (Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew), French, Spanish, some German and Malay. I have given up my job to look after the children, I cook very well (but do not like cleaning), I am good in bed, a bit fat lately but presentable nonetheless, and when I married my hubby he was just an Engineer though since he married me he did well and is now a Top Manager...Every relationship is a give-and-take and i believe that there is someone for everyone out there, just have to keep your hearts and eyes open. No à priories, just be sincere, live and learn!

10:39 AM  
Blogger Beau Lotus said...

Forgot to add that the good thing about a cross-cultural relationship is that you have much to learn from one another and normally, you even have your whole life to adapt. A dialogue for life. And I am no door mat, I have my own character and he, his and that's just great. You tussle at times, and you hug at others. My guy's international, so we do not have a language/communication problem. If we do, we explain ourselves.

10:44 AM  

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