t Double Yellow's Musings: Singapore – A Country with a Toilet Fetish
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Singapore – A Country with a Toilet Fetish

First it was New Water – the process of transforming your waste into pure drinking water. Since water is a precious resource in Singapore, we found a way to convert what you excrete into water suitable for consumption. Heck, we even managed to make it into a tourist attraction and earn $$ from people who have a fetish for drinking their own refuse.

Then it was the revolutionary new pee-powered battery – the process of making your urine into electricity. After intensive research, Singapore researchers developed a battery that runs on urine. I am sure there are plans in the pipeline to export such technology to India and China to make sure they can meet their surging energy demands. Who knows, one day we may even have a price war among Pee-pumps :)

And now, we have built a whole island of trash. No lah, I am not talking about the Singapore mainland. Introducing .... [drumroll] .... Semakau island. It is the world’s first island that is built entirely on garbage. Not one, not two….more than 2000 tonnes of waste goes to this island everyday!! And in a uniquely Singaporean way, our gahmen has made even this place into a tourist attraction.

Tourism Brochure:
Take the Weekend Off - Visit Semakau Island

There is a lot of marine life and coral reefs on this island. We dunno how it got there, but its there lah. Feel free to swim in your shit and explore all this colorful stuff. The water may be yellow in some places but that should not stop you from feeling right in your toilet home.

Everything on the island will be brown in color, so that it can seamlessly blend with the background. The island has also been opened for recreational activities. In order to save money, there will be no toilets on the island. Visit many up-market restaurants on the island – their specialties are sausage with lime juice.

And in order to ensure that tourists get high standards of service at such islands, Singapore is going to be home for the world’s first Toilet College set up by the World Toilet Organization. There is supposedly hands-on training at this college and I will leave it to your good imagination to ponder over the details. Needless to say, the graduates of this college will power our economy into the next orbit.

I’m not very sure yet but I suspect that our gahmen has a long-term strategy of remaking Singapore into a Waste Hub. Guess who launched the website of the World Toilet Organization - our PM !!

2 Comments:

Blogger mooiness said...

Mighty good conspiracy theory you got there. Sounds plausible though. Since Singapore got no real natural resources to exploit, might as well exploit the waste products of its citizens! Wahahah!

8:55 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

heheh mooiness, if this theory ever proves to be true, you first heard it here :) and i will make astrology my full-time profession :)

5:22 PM  

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