t Double Yellow's Musings: Introducing Singapore’s “Public Nuisance” Police
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Introducing Singapore’s “Public Nuisance” Police

[phone rings]
Me: wei?
Kaaki: there are a few ppl protesting outside the CPF building.
Me: really ah? Got this kind of thing here meh? How many?
Kaaki: four
Me: how many? Four hundred?
Kaaki: no lah, four!
Me: you mean forty?
Kaaki: bodoh, its FOUR!!
Me: what? four people where got protest? they prob lunch time crowd who want to wish the CPF head a personal “happy national day”
Kaaki: no, they are holding up placards with the words “transparency” and “CPF” and “HDB”.
Me: oh, they want to say that the CPF and HDB are all very transparent issit? Not like NKF right?
Kaaki: errr…. They are saying just the opposite. They want the CPF and HDB to be more transparent. They believe that we may have another NKF on our hands.
Me: aiyah… ask them to join the “Speak Good Engrrish” campaign lah. How am I supposed to make out all this from a few words?
Kaaki: the riot police asked them to disperse.
Me: riot police? How many?
Kaaki: Dozen
Me: four?
Kaaki: Bodoh, twelve lah…
Me: really ah? Cool ! Did they have masks? leather gear? stun gun?
Kaaki: errr…
Me: What about snipers? tanks? commandos?
Kaaki: errr…
Me: Bodoh lah you… you never pay attention to all this meh? Anyways, thanks for the heads up. I watch tonight’s news for more info…

I spent my whole evening rummaging through our open, transparent, objective and balanced local media for the news report but nothing… not one word… zilch… zero. Meanwhile, I was totally bewildered that we needed twelve armed-to-the-teeth riot police personnel to disperse four people holding posters :) I finally had to rely on Yahoo to get some local news.

Then finally I saw the article this morning in Today. But wait a sec, where was the riot? That’s right, the Today article does NOT make even ONE mention of the word ‘riot’!!!! Clever ah…:) So the police who arrived with shields and batons were not riot police meh? Then who were they? Robocop? Steven Seagal?

Introducing….[drumroll]….our new “Public Nuisance Police”. No, the name does not imply that the police are causing public nuisance. It signifies a group of highly trained personnel that asks people to disband when they think that these people are a pain-in-the-ass. They said that they got a call for a “member of the public” informing them of the protest at the CPF building. I also want to call leh.... tell them about the group of motorcyclists who cut into my lane, the people who always read newspaper in front of my face in the MRT, like people who never move to the back of the bus, like people who chop seats at hawker centres. Seriously, all these people are public nuisance what....

By the way, I just learnt that the law supposedly says that any gathering of 5 ppl or more requires a permit and so the protestors have carefully chosen 4 ppl for the protest outside the CPF building. No wonder they didn't publicize this 'historic' event. Coz if they did and more ppl turn up, then kenna everyone in Queenstown Remand :) One of them is supposedly an opposition politician’s sista… waah, I dunno whether this kind of thing can be called nepotism or not? Heheh. I am not sure how effective these protests are – they dunno 4 is an unlucky number meh? :)

P.S: I still haven’t found a photo of the riot "public nuisance" police :(


Anonymous Anonymous said...

See singapore democrat website. the police are armed to the teeth man lol

11:05 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

i guess so lah... if not all that armour when to use? :p

11:18 PM  
Blogger Wynx said...

Eh, it looks like more than 12 polis leh...

11:42 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

wynx, like dat huh? mebbe next time they will hv a whole batallion!! :)

12:22 AM  
Blogger AG said...

Haha, it just demonstrates how desperate the gahmen is to retain some kinda hold over Singaporeans. and how incompetent the riot police are. :X

9:46 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha AG, our gahmen desperate meh? the fact that they can get a dozen riot police to disperse the protestors show that we are not as resource-crunched as we previously thot...:)

btw, your plan of selling T-shirts with the same words as the protestors, something tells me that the only place you will be selling them is Queenstown Remand... hahaha !! :)

5:35 PM  
Blogger AG said...

Haha, Queenstown Remand.. the people inside no money leh.
Okie, maybe the gahmen not desperate, just compulsive-anal-retentive whadeva you call it syndrome. all have sth stuck up their as$.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous qui ann said...

I doubt the police would be so silly.

I feel that it has received the wrong information and the person who called the police could be an SDP member.

The whole episode was staged by the SDP.

The foreign press were invited by the SDP to blow up the news to show we have no democracy.

5:48 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

qui ann, conspiracy theory eh? :) its possible no doubt...

5:55 PM  

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