t Double Yellow's Musings: The Great Singapore Sex <s>Show</s> Exhibition
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Great Singapore Sex Show Exhibition

It looks we are poised for a ‘big’ leap in the giant project of opening up Singapore. We are going to have a uniquely Singapore sex show exhibition. According to one of the organizers

“we got the idea from the sex exhibitions in Australia....”

Aah, so that is what being uniquely Singaporean means :) Do any of you remember the time when you felt squeamish about discussing “computer” and “furniture” stuff with your chewren? Maybe it was before my time but according to the organizer of the sex show exhibition,

“Just like how we have computer and furniture shows every year, a sex exhibition can be held to de-stigmatise sex.”

So I guess there was a time when you felt prudish when your chewren went…

“Dad, how do I cup the mouse?”
“Mom, why does the monitor need to have a protector every time we use it?”
“Dad, can I insert the USB stick into the socket now?”
“Mom, I promise not to spill anything on the sofa. Can we do away with the protector?”
“Dad, I’m bored with the current position of the tables and chairs. Can we rearrange them so that they fit the contours of the room better?"


Apparently, it was because of all those computer and furniture shows, you are today able to talk freely to your chewren about monitors, keyboards, sofas and tables. It’s because of such de-stigmatizing shows that today Sim Lim Square is the hub all of all computer activity in Singapore. I wonder where we will locate the hub of all sex activity in Singapore. Sorry hor, as much as would like it, cannot be your house :)

And since this sex show exhibition is being held in the Singapore Expo, the creative juices flowed and the name of the event is now....[drumroll]....Sexpo. It is supposed to be pronounced like the MRT announcement....Sex....[pause]....Po. I want to volunteer with the organization of this sex show exhibition leh. So if someone asks me where I work, I can say, “I work for sex.... [pause] ....po” :)

After intense deliberation and surprisingly no SMS vote from the public, the organizers have decided to include youth as part of the sex show exhibition. But they will promote abstinence.

Instructor: “You see dis…..dis the male sex organ. You take dis and insert it into the female sex organ. Ok? Very important to remember hor, cannot insert into male sex organ ok. If you do, you will ostracized by Singapore society, you cannot party, you might get AIDS and most importantly, give the impression that our gahmen is not doing its job in managing the AIDS problem. Everyone understand? Ok good. But dun try this wif your girlfriend ah. Must wait till you get married ok?"

Youth: But until den how?....sometimes cannot tahan you know....

Instructor: No probrem. You see dis…. dis is a blow up toy. Now you take dat and insert it into dis. Easy right? Better dan the lotion you use today right. $100 only…

Youth: But about us girls?

Instructor: No probrem. You see dis….dis is the dildo. You take dis and insert it into dat. Until you married, you can use dis. Who knows, after you married you may also need. Heheh, Only $75....

Looks like there is $$ to be made in promoting abstinence :)

16 Comments:

Blogger kdhula said...

you have been tomorrowed.

are you going to sexpo?

3:02 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

kdhula, i hv? must go check it out... and u bet i will be there at sexpo. A milestone in the great "opening Singapore" project and I miss it - not for the wurl :)

3:23 AM  
Blogger lakeside girl said...

Kudos to you for this nice and amusing entry! ;)

8:11 AM  
Blogger Heavenly Sword said...

Hi DY - abstinence hub... :)

8:15 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

crunchy green apple, thanx :)

HS, abstinence hub is exactly the kind of thing we need for our already sexually repressed society :)

8:26 AM  
Blogger AG said...

abstinence?

eck. well, if it works in getting rid of those pesky little kids. i'm all for it.

8:31 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha AG, looks like those testosterone-filled pesky kids have been bothering you off-late.... :)

7:05 PM  
Blogger Beng said...

Still can't believe that the MIV approved this sort of exhibition...

But who knows, maybe 90% of the exhibits could have mosaic over the "sensitive" parts?

9:28 PM  
Blogger mooiness said...

If this was truly something inspired by the Australian version, they should make sure to include the strippers and porn stars instead of just the inanimate objects like blow-up dolls and dildoes - if they are even allowed. ;)

9:44 PM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

beng ah, gahmen must show they are opening up mah :) most prob got mosaic - supposed to be in a 'family friendly' atmosphere!!

mooiness, i also say.... they shd hv strippers and porn stars so that the singaporean youth know what they missing out on. Next thing you know, all the budget airlines to Australia will be doing brisk business :)

10:38 PM  
Blogger AG said...

lol, if i'm not wrong the rate/percentage in Singapore for porn/pron surfing is one of the highest. XD i think they already know what they're missing out on.

2:02 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

heheh AG, watching strippers and porn stars 'in-person' different from surfing the net mah...

btw, am curious as to where one can get the p0rn surf statistics here? surely the gahmen is not going 2 publish anything... :)

also hor, if we have one of the highest p0rn surf rates, den why exactly do we need sex education? heheh... mebbe 4 the abstinence and the 'dun-be-homo' bit eh ?

2:23 AM  
Blogger AG said...

I dunno leh, I read it randomly off some newspaper article I think. Somehow it just stuck in my brain. XD

Sex education for teenagers mah, afterall, porn and real life very different. Must teach them the use of contraceptives else there would be a whole lot more pesky little kids running around.

But I think sex education in Singapore doesn't work. If you read Aunt Agony letters, the most asked questions are pertaining to sex. :/ Most hilarious ones are the "If i have oral sex will i get pregnant?" kinds.

3:32 AM  
Blogger doubleyellow said...

haha AG, agree that its better to promote 'safe sex' than abstinence :)

Other than saying no to oral sex getting you pregnant, i wonder whether replies to the agony aunt letters tell them that the gahmen has a law that says that having just oral sex is considered unnatural and that they can say hi to Queenstown Remand if they break the law .. heheh

5:49 AM  
Blogger Sexpo Singapore said...

we are blogging ...

http://sexposingapore.blogspot.com/

10:10 AM  
Blogger Hayley said...

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4:28 AM  

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