t Double Yellow's Musings: Myopia of Teens in Love
The warped mind of Double Yellow craves for humor everyday. His daily dose comes from The Straits Times, The Sunday Times, Today, Channelnewsasia, etc. He also thinks that because of this preamble, this blog will never get featured in the local media. And of course, please read the Disclaimer before embarking on the journey.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Myopia of Teens in Love

A lot of things seem to be upsetting us these days. The first issue deals with myopia in our school-going kids. It’s a known fact that a majority of our kids wear spectacles as they suffer from shortsightedness. This pains us so much that we begin to look for who to blame. In the process, we look for places where our chewren strain their eyes. Somehow there seems to be a consensus that whiteboards in schools are the root cause of myopia (see The Straits Times, 19 Jun 2005, p.9). While doctors have suggested that television and genes to be the problem, not all parents buy the explanation. Of course, how can you even think we spoil our chewren’s eyes? We have the best gene pool that’s out there. We come from the best-run, most efficient country in the world and many of us don’t even vote in general elections – how could our genes have such a bad trait? It must be something else…..After a few seconds of deep thought, I think I have figured out the real reason. I think our kids are being kidnapped by aliens and injected with something that causes myopia. That must be it…. if you cant blame the gahmen, teachers, cabbies, civil service, bad car drivers or foreign talent, it must be forces from the dark side that must be causing so much pain to our cute chewren.

The second problem that seems to be nagging us is with teenagers showing PDA (no lah, not Personal Digital Assistant but Public Display of Affection) – (see The Straits Times, 19 Jun 2005, p.37). When we see two teenagers kissing passionately in the MRT for instance, we have a few choices…..(1) watch intently because we could have a thing or two to learn about kissing from these teens (2) drool because we are getting a free RA show or (3) reminiscence about the things we did when we were teens in every dark corner we could find. But NO….. we feel squeamish and look away. We adult Singaporeans who breathe, eat and excrete so-called Asian values, this kind of PDA is unacceptable. Maybe hor, we should set up a police squad to fine these teenagers if they go beyond holding hands. How will we find these ‘errant’ teens? Like the movie Minority Report, even before these teenagers grope each other, police will sweep down and charge them on the spot. Only then can we adults can walk peacefully in public places.

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